The Adventures of Alec and Lurker: Part the Second

I have the pleasure of visiting Lurker and Lady about once each new moon. On the visit that followed my midnight visions of Brooke in the wispy night shift, Lurker and Lady suggested that we visit one of the local dancing assemblies. Like the one I visited over the weekend, this dancing assembly caters to male patrons with a special interest in their other male patrons.

Actually, it was Lurker's idea to visit that establishment, an attribute that immediately marks him as different than many other men, especially other men who ascribe to his more conservative views of governance. For as long as I have know him, such distinctions have never held much import for Lurker. He has several male friends and colleagues who prefer the company of men. Even before I got to know him well, I heard stories about him accompanying other students from his academy to those special taverns and dancing assemblies. Certainly he did not feel as at ease as those he accompanied, but he deserves many kudos for willingly putting himself in an environment in which he was the aberration.

Lurker also takes his responsibilites as a host rather seriously. On the night that we attended the dancing assembly, he attempted to introduce me to other young gentlemen in attendance. I was happy for the attention, but in a few instances I wished for a little more consultation. I realize that I am not the perfect pageboy in appearance, but that does not mean that I will settle for just any tinker that comes along. Lurker's "taste" in some of my potential companions made me wonder if some men who like women really cannot recognize the difference between those men who are beautiful and those who are not.

Lurker does not care much for dancing, so he stayed off the floor and drank an ale while Lady and I danced. When we rendezvoused with Lurker later, he told us that hhe had been chatting with the barkeep.

"You prefer the company of women, don't you?" the barkeep asked.

"Uh, yeah. How could you tell?"

"The way you walk."

The barkeep then purchased Lurker an ale. Lurker attempted to return the favor later in the evening, but the barkeep explained that he was not permitted to drink ale while working.

We stayed until the master of ceremonies announced that the dancing assembly was preparing to close for the evening. The barkeep informed Lurker that he could purchase him that drink now.

I was quite amused when I found out about all this. Lady and I had to explain to Lurker that the barkeep was not simply being friendly to a new patron. He thought that Lurker was just confused about prefering the company of women. He wanted to impress Lurker (or at least get him further inebriated) and introduce him to the pleasures of men. I was more surprised and entertained that Lurker did not realize why the barkeep was being especially frendly.

I cannot fault the barkeep. Lurker is a very attractive man. I believe that the barkeep would have had a better idea about the circumstances if he had seen Lurker and Lady together since she is a beautiful woman and they obviously belong together. The barkeep just did not have enough context to realize the situation.

I informed Lurker that if he desires to continue making introductions for me then next time he needs to begin with the barkeep! He was a nice looking lad. He may not be right for Lurker, but it might have been nice to find out if he was right for me.

Mason of the Day

This tavern would not even exist if it were not for the efforts of the masons who laid the foundation. They built the hearth that we now gather around to keep warm as we tell stories and drink ale during these chilly winter months. They constructed the chimney that can be seen from a couple of streets over, a landmark that many townsfolk use to navigate through the neighborhood. This place just wouldn't be the same without the hard work of some dedicated masons.

This mason made a point of requesting an introduction to Master Vols. He has a certain quality that Master Vols is certain to appreciate, especially in the final portrait.

Too Many Books

It seems that I visit the booksellers' stalls all too often. Actually, I do not frequent such places much any more, but friends and relatives continue to give me books as gifts. I have also achieved membership in several scholarly societies, each of which sends me a journal of their proceedings on a quarterly basis. In addition, I have more than one-hundred books on loan from the library attached to the local academy.

All of these books barely fit into the living quarters above this tavern. I have run out of shelves to store all of them, or, more appropriately, to display all of them in an ordered fashion that allows me to view the titles on the spine with ease. I do not have room in the living quarters for any more shelves, even if I could afford the services of a joiner to construct them. A few days ago I resorted to stashing a small pile of books under my bed, a secret treasure of knowledge. Several more stacks have been situated under my desk.

If I ever move to a larger tavern, I shall consider giving away or selling some of my volumes. I just cannot imagine how I would choose which to save and which I could bear to send away. I am truly a bibliophile.

The Adventures of Alec and Lurker: Part the First

I sometimes need to travel to the academy where Lurker and Lady are engaged in their studies. When I make that trip, one of them graciously hosts me. Lady used to live in a boarding house with a landlord and about half a dozen other young maidens. Yes, the landlord seemed to have a policy about who he would allow to reside under his roof. He leased all the rooms to attractive young ladies.

One of the parlors at the boarding house had a sofa that could be made up as a bed. One evening after visiting a local tavern, Lurker, Lady, and I sat in the parlor talking and drinking some ale that we brought back to the boarding house. That was when one of the other residents came bounding into the room.

Brooke was wearing nothing more than a simple white night shift. She just sat down in a chair and started talking to us. Lady went to the kitchen, leaving Lurker and I alone with Brooke. It was either cold in the parlor or Brooke was excited because not only could we see her bosom but her nipples seemed to be poking through that white night shift. I do not know if she realized or if she simply did not care, but she carried on an animated conversation about the young buck who has been courting her, an aristocrat with more gold pieces than sense or gentility.

Eventually Brooke departed for her own room. "That was quite a sight," I said to Lurker. I'm sure that it was something much more entertaining for him than for me, but I confess that I was intrigued all the same.

I fell into a deep sleep later that night after we finished the ale. I remember dreaming about Brooke in that wispy white night shift with her nipples prominently highlighted. When I awoke, I discovered that all the blood in my body seemed to have rushed to my member. It was swollen and hard as an iron bar. It seems that Brooke really brought something out in me ... and let me assure you that it was really poking out!

The next day I told Lurker and Lady about my dream and its aftermath. They were amazed and impressed. All three of us had quite a good laugh about it.

Cooper of the Day

This place just wouldn't be the same without all the kegs of ale behind the bar annd staked neatly in the storage room. Just as I try to provide the finest refreshments, I also try to employ the finest craftsmen to maintain the items in the tavern. So, you'll sometimes notice a local cooper doing some repairs here at the Quill and Saber. This guy does good work. He certainly knows how to his tool.




You've probably noticed that the house wine does not come from a wooden vat. The local vintner insists on storing the wine in boxes, eliminating work for our good cooper.

Ledgers and Account Books

I was surprised to hear recently that the majority of people never reconcile the balances in their ledgers and account books. They simply trust the bankers and moneylenders to provide the calculations. This did not seem realistic to me, so I checked with several friends. I learned that none of them spill any ink in their ledgers. They have a vague idea how many gold pieces and silver pieces they possess --- and that's good enough for them.

I know exactly how many gold pieces can be accounted for in my ledger. I know all the way down to the tiniest copper piece. I never thought that made me so extraordinary.

The Adventures of Alec and Lurker: Prologue

I have a couple of humorous tales to tell. I shall begin tomorrow, but before I begin I need to say a few words of introduction about my friend Lurker. I have known Lurker for about four years now. He is a student at one of the finer academies out in the lands near the Eastern Sea. Whenever I need to visit that academy, Lurker and his fair lady, who happens to be called Lady, kindly host me.

To some who know me, Lurker may seem like an unusual choice as a friend. Whereas I tend to favor the members of the nobility who are more progressive in their views of governing the realm, Lurker is conservative in his views and supports the regime of the current king. Unlike those who burn witches and torture hedge wizards, Lurker thinks through the reasons that he favors the aristocrats who have kept the king in power. He is capable of participating in a respectful and coherent discourse when we compare our ideas about how the realm should be governed.

A few months ago we talked about the current movement to allow men to marry men and women to marry women, certainly a radical idea in some of the more isolated parts of the realm. Lurker believes that the privileges of marriage should be extended. Our point of disagreement is the mechanism for extending those privileges to be more inclusive. Lurker does not feel that a lone magistrate should be allowed to make such a determination. Instead, he posits, the members of a community should all meet in the town square and decide together that they no longer wish to exclude some people from the privileges of marriage. Obviously, I would be content with a magistrate making such a decision since I beleive that putting it into action will help townsfolk to see that their neightbors are not disrupting the current system in any significant way, that they do not need to nurture the fears that they cling to through the day and the night.

As for how Lurker and I get along despite having different ideas about governance, I think that the most important aspect of this issue is that we agree on the goal even if we envision different paths for achieving that goal.

It may not always be obvious to some folks that I could have a friend with more conservative views, especially to those folks with long experience of the rhetoric I use in the town square. All that aside, Lurker and I have a rather nice friendship. We have interesting conversations and we both enjoy downing some ale at the tavern. I feel fortunate to have both Lurker and Lady as friends.

For each of the next two days I shall tell a tale about my adventures with Lurker. Since I will relate them in the order that they took place, tomorrow I shall spin a yarn in which I am at the center of amusement. Two days from now I shall tell you a story that pokes fun at Lurker. That shall give you all, my good patrons, equal chances to laugh at both Lurker and me. Lurker already sent me a not via carrier pigeon to give me permission to share his tale.

Duelists of the Day

My little town is a relatively safe place. Still, it doesn't hurt to carry a rapier or a dirk for protection, providing that you don't happen to be a spellcaster with other means of defending yourself. Proficiency with a weapon only comes with lots of practice. If you turn south outside the tavern and walk for about ten minutes you'll happen across the training yards. My friend Breezy hangs out there a lot. Some days, when the wind is blowing just right, her voice carries all the way to the tavern:

"Show us your saber! Show us your saber! Show us your saber!"




As for me, I don't think it would be so bad to let one of those young mercenaries impale me on his sword.

Nervous

I went to a local dancing assembly last night, a special kind of dancing assembly that caters mainly to male patrons. I am often unhappy with the musicians who perform at that particular dancing assembly, but it has the largest space for dancing and is considered the best place in this town for young men to congregate on a Saturday night.

When I approached the dancing assembly, I noticed a large wagon in the street outside the entrance. It turned out that several local apothecaries were drawing blood to help the patrons determine if they had contracted the syphilis or any other diseases that spread as the result of intimate contact.

It has been a long time since I saw an apothecary to have my blood scrutinized, so I decided that since this service was being offered gratis and I was there anyway that I should participate. I do have a phobia of needles, so I had to look away while the apothecary drew my blood.

I try to be as safe as possible when I am intimate with other young beaus. I always use a length of sheep intestine knotted at one end as a sheath for my member so any seed that is spilled does not get exchanged. Still, accidents can happen. I figured that it would be best to be able to say for certain that I know that I do not carry any diseases, to have my confidence underscored by the apothecary’s word on the matter.

As much as I know that I take precautions in my behavior, it is still scary to face the possibility that the apothecary could give me a definitive answer that something is wrong. The apothecary says that my results will not be prepared until February 15, so until then I will be experiencing a state of nervousness that I did not know until I actually allowed my blood to be drawn.

Advice on Writing

This new parchment is different from the vellum on which I often compose my thoughts. As much as I enjoy putting quill to parchment, I am concerned that my penmanship has been negatively affected. In particular, I am concerned that my handwriting is not consistent over at the left. You may notice that I have quite elegantly written "Recent Posts" and "Archives," but "Townsfolk" looks rather common in comparison.

Do any scriveners or scribes have suggestions for improving my handwriting so the heading for "Townsfolk" (and "Local Taverns," "Booksellers of Note," and "Places for Being Amused," once I have a chance to write them out) will match the other heaings for the other columns?

I much appreciate your assistance. The next round will be compliments of the house for the scribe who can solve my problem.

Blacksmith of the Day

Sometimes when I run errands, I make a point of passing by the blacksmith shop a couple of streets over. Can you blame me? It gets so hot in that little workshop that the blacksmith usually removes his shirt while he labors over the forge or hammers a piece of red-hot metal on the anvil. It takes a lot of muscle to shape metal into useful items, so you always know tha when you see a sign for a blacksmith shop that a really well built man will be nearby. Today's balcksmith definitely proves that point. Among his other responsibilities, he has to keep that fire stoked. I've seen him fanning those flames. Beleive me, he can pump my bellows any day.

Beasts that Walk Among Us

I stepped away from the tavern for a couple of hours last night to accompany some friends to the theater. We saw a production called "Underworld: Evolution," the second in a trilogy about vampires and werewolves who walk among us. Many of us feel that we have enough to fear from the living dead and lycans based on their unnatural powers, but the monsters in this stage creation take full advantage of the latest weapons.

Of course, the production suggests that we have nothing to fear from those who have been transformed after being bitten by bat or by wolf because they are too busy fighting a war amongst themselves. It even went so far as to suggest that vampires are benevolent protectors of humanity, keeping us safe from maniacal werewolves. It was an interesting idea to see presented on the stage, but I shall continue to keep the pantry well stocked with garlic.

The production has not received very good reviews from the critics, but I think that it probably has a specialized audience. For those who have an interest in the creatures of the night, this was a fine continuation of the story started in "Underworld." The assorted backdrops and the rest of the scenery were visually stunning. Many of the costumes were exquisite. The lead actress was a lot of fun to watch, but the lead actor suffered from poorly conceived plot pacing. Although the plot was a little thin, it expanded upon the backstory of a betrayal revealed in the first production quite well.

In general, the production was an interesting addition to the lore surrounding vampires and lycans.

After leaving the theater, my friends and I headed to a nice tavern for some pasta with eggplant and meat sauce. The tavern was crowded and the patrons friendly. A couple of the barkeeps really caught my eye as well.

Academy Town

I really enjoy running the Quill and Saber Tavern in an academy town like Ann Arbor. In general, I love living in this academy town. It has such a nice mixture of folk, both town and gown, that keep the neighborhood vibrant.

I love the geography of this town, how the academy buildings are interspersed among the shops owned by local merchants, artisans, and shopkeepers. I love the travelers who pass through the town, especially the minstrel shows and the troubadours who give performances at Hill Auditorium. The open spaces are beautiful, especially the Diag in front of the academy's main library and the arboretum at the edge of town.

I also love all the booksellers and printers in this town. They run some great shops. As proud as I am of my little tavern, I also enjoy visiting many of the others to enjoy the food and drink. In the near future I would like to start drawing a map so others may find them as well, both the booksellers and the taverns. Until then, you're welcome to stay here. There's plenty of ale to last.

Stablehand of the Day

If you rode a horse to the pub instead of walking here, then you probably passed over the reins to the new stablehand. He might look vaguely familiar to a few of you since he has a little experience on the stage. He had a minor role in a drama from a few years ago, "Dark Angel." Despite being completely beautiful, he does not seem to have acted in many other productions. For an aspiring stage player, he seems a little shy --- his likeness was not easy to find. It's almost as if he refuses to sit down and pose for a portrait artist. Still, the Quill and Saber is lucky to have him as our stablehand. He'll take good care of your horses. Methinks he has something in common with them!

Beware of Doppelgangers

One of my good patrons seemed confused when I mentioned that I likely have a doppelganger out there impersonating me. I suppose this good man must not make it outside the town limits, especially after dark, or else he would be more cautious of the creatures that he might encounter. All kinds of beasts prowl the countryside, yet we seem safe enough here in our little hamlet.

In a few words, a doppelganger is a ghostly double of a living person, especially one that haunts its fleshly counterpart.

Turning to the Manual of Monsters, edition the third and a half, printed by the great Wizards of the Coast, we learn about doppelgangers in greater detail:

Doppelgangers are strange beings that are able to take on the shapes of those they encounter. In its natural form, the creature looks more or less humanoid, but slender and frail, with gangly limbs and half-formed features. The flesh is pale and hairless. Its large, bulging eyes are yellow with slitted pupils.

A doppelganger's appearance is deceiving even when it's in its true form. A doppelganger is hardy, with a natural agility not in keeping with its frail appearance.

Because they can take the shape of any humanoid between 4 and 8 feet tall, doppelgangers are natural spies and assassins. They can sneak past sentries, slip into secured places, and fool even lovers or close friends. They are cunning and patient, willing to wait until an opportunity presents itself instead of attacking rashly.

Doppelgangers make excellent use of their natural mimicry to stage ambushes, bait traps, and infiltrate humanoid society. Although not usually evil, they are interested only in themselves and regard all othersas playthings to be manipulated and deceived.

So now you may have a better understanding of why I suggest that a doppelganger may be out there somewhere impersonating me. Beware! Try not to get us confused, one with the other.

Still, I am not trying to be overly suspicious of doppelgangers and others who might not fit in at first glance. As for this rules of the house for this little pub, all are welcome, be they human, elf, dwarf, halfling, gnome, half-elf, half-orc or doppelganer posing as any of those, as long as they pay their tabs, amuse their friends, and refrain from brawling.

A Spot on the Map

Several kind patrons have asked if they can give out directions to my little tavern. I do not mind if you mark this establishment on your maps.

Some folks think I look familiar. I guess I just have one of those kinds of faces. I imagine I have a doppleganger out there somewhere. Maybe someday I will meet him.

Until then, just remember that my name is Alec. If I'm behind the bar and you're trying to get my attention, calling out another name just won't work.

Same goes for putting those links on your map. Make sure you call me Alec. Nobody wants me to be confused with that doppleganger.

Barkeep of the Day

Step right up for a cold ale! Today's barkeep promises to keep the kegs tapped and the drinks flowing. Would you prefer a stout instead of an ale? That's just fine. The barkeep knows his business. He'll get the head just right!

Welcome!

Welcome to the Quill and Saber Pub!

I hope that you enjoy your visit. Have some fun, have a drink, have some food, meet some friends, have some good conversations, make yourself comfortable by the fire. Hopefully you will find the service in my establishment more than adequate. I wish to offer some of the features you have grown to love and add some new stuff as well. I'm always open to suggestions.

Enjoy your stay! The first round is on the house.